You’re used to sticking your nose in the air and sniggering, not so silently at your poor, desperate single friends who have been resorting to Tinder dating in a bid to find their soul mates or at the very least, a quick rendezvous to scratch that itch. Now, newly single those same friends seem less pitiful and more a wealth of knowledge for the uninitiated (you!) on the minefield of dating apps. Still, you wade into the minefield that is Tinder on your own. Because you know better obviously!
The twelve steps of Tinder
1. I’m never going to use Tinder, it’s for desperate people and semi-nymphomaniacs
2. Maybe I’ll just download it
3. Crap. What the hell am I supposed to put in my ‘about me section’?
4. *Googles top Tinder profiles* Ctrl+v and Ctrl+P, aha!
5. Wow, there are soooo many single men in this city
6. Why are there so many single men in the city?
7. Is he really standing next to a baby lion cub? In fact where does one even get a baby lion cub?
8. *swipes right* Just to ask him about the cub, obviously..
9. Oh great, I have 10 matches, I’m hotter than I give myself credit for *nods knowingly*
10. This one wants to swap numbers..
11. Oh look a picture. Of his penis.
With a puppy.
12. Maybe I need to be on Dattch instead. I would so make a sexy, hot bisexual. . .